I thought I lost you somewhere But you were never really ever there at all.

There have been a lot of changes the past few months.

I just recently took back the steering wheel of my life. It was really hard, almost impossible. I went into such a dark dark place I was almost stuck there.

To make myself believe I wasn’t worth anything really exposed me to a dark place I didn’t want to be.

I am happy to report that I am moving in the right direction now.

There comes a time in your life when you have to stop thinking.

Literally force yourself to stop thinking about the “what if’s” and the “could be’s”.. because all you’re doing is throwing your life away.

…and remember the what is. Remembering that if something tragic happens to you, it does not define who you are.

I seem to have forgotten how much of a powerful force I used to be. I had everything figured out. My whole life.

You let your guard down, and there is always a 50% chance of it crumbling.

That happened to me.

I let my guard down, chipped pieces of myself away to somehow fit. I had so much hope. So much love. I let my guard down. That is time and energy I will never get back.

Just recently I had to slap myself in the face and remember who I was. Remember that I am not this person. Yes I hurt. Yes I have pain. Yes it will never go away.

But the difference between living it and feeling it is I can choose when to feel it. I can choose when to let it effect me.

There is no miracle cure. If you are hurting, you will hurt. It’s just the way it is.

But I have learned that this hurt does not define me.

That this pain is something I can feel, but not rule my life anymore.

I’m Free.

“There will be days when you’re falling down
There will be days when you’re inside out
There will be days when you fall apart
Someone else will break you heart
They’re never gonna hold you back
I’m always gonna have your back
So try to remember that” ❤