I tell myself every day.
“Get your butt up and tend to your children.”
Sometimes Mama just wants to shut down and just disconnect from life for a minute.
But I’m up, toasting waffles and tickling my baby because he laughs like a 50 year old man first thing in the morning.
You have to wake up wanting the life you have, or else you’re just waking up.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, you should always want to wake up, but you also need to wake up loving your life. Loving everything about it. It is what keeps you moving.
Today was a little rougher than normal.
The end of a 3 day weekend and my son comes home from his fathers, not wanting to be here. Granted I should know that 3 days away from someone, you grow into the other lifestyle of being with the other parent. But normally, as soon as his father leaves, he’s normal and laughing and playing. Today, it took about 2 hours for him to be happy. Those 2 hours felt like repeating punches to the gut.
I love that he loves hanging out with his dad. I guess my biggest insecurity in my divorce from his father, is his internal struggle with 2 houses, 2 lives not really intertwined he has to lead. It makes me feel horrible. I am just happy he is such a happy kid. And that no matter what me and his father make his life wonderful and he can see as he grows that we have his best interests at heart.
My youngest was very abnormal today, more like he cried and fussed all day with no reasoning. Forcing a migraine and loss of what to do.
I really feel like I failed him as a parent, because I didn’t know how to help him.
I’m hoping it’s just a phase and he was just overtired. I didn’t quite lose it and break down, but I almost did. There is nothing like hearing your baby cry and you’ve tried everything and it was just not enough. This morning he woke up and we play like we normally do and eat breakfast. But after that it all went downhill.
Made me want to sit some sort of reset button and start the day over.
With everything today that made life a little heavier, I still wouldn’t trade it for anything.
There is growth in learning and there is learning in life.
If you are ever overwhelmed, take a second for yourself. Mental Health is no joke and there is nothing wrong with stepping away to take a breath. When things get tough, try calling someone and get some insight. Someones fresh brain could do your melting brain a lot of good.
I hope you all have an amazing week.