5 years from now?

There never really is a time frame in which your life is supposed to be mapped out. You’re supposed to take life as it comes.

But everyone asks themselves that very question..

“Where will my life be in 5 years?”

I’ve even asked myself that question, ALOT throughout my life as an adult.

I mean, when we’re children we are asked that question, but instead of it being 5 years, it’s your life..

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

To which you state you want to be an astronaut..or a cowboy…

Actually for me I’ve always wanted to be a mom.

..and a professional singer..

but mostly a mom.

I do sometimes ask myself where I want my life to go.

Yes, you should focus on the journey, not the destination..

But I am guilty of picturing a future, and aspiring to it.. rather than letting life lead me.

Whether it’s what job I’ll have, where I’ll be living..

…who I would be living with.

I never would’ve imagined first becoming an adult, that I would be 26 and divorced.

I always lived with the idea, I’d only marry once, buy a house and stay in it, mainly because I had that dream of my children living in the same house their whole lives.

Maybe that stems from moving alot when I was a child? Who knows.

Maybe it was because the thought of having that stability, is something that everyone wants for their lives.

I’m sitting here sitting in my dark kitchen, attached to the charger..and that question is just blistering in my mind like the hottest summer day..

Part of me doesn’t want to know. Why focus on the future and not just live day to day.

My mom says that all the time. Don’t focus on tomorrow, focus on today. She’s right.

But I’m the type of person, who overthinks everything, and wants to know what my life will be like in 5 years.

..and because I don’t have a time machine to jump to the future….

I have to just imagine and hope for the best.

But what I want more than anything is stability. I feel like I’m up in the air, just hanging out waiting to fall.

To where?

I don’t know.

xoxoxo,

-A

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